With Valentine's Day right around the corner, the lovable CKS Staff got to thinking about all the wonderful benefits that come with dating people in the whitewater community. We had a ton of fun thinking about all of the pros… only to realize the cons make us terrible partners for people that don’t love getting wet.
Here are our 5 Reasons to Date a Boater, and our 5 Reasons NOT to Date a Boater.
5 Reasons To Date A Boater
Boaters are often thrill-seekers who are always looking for their next adventure. They're likely to be up for trying new things and going on exciting excursions (as long as they are free, see the below). You haven’t lived until you are eating dinner off a frisbee 200 miles from the nearest cell tower or shower.
#2 Physical Fitness
Paddling requires a lot of upper body strength and endurance, so boaters tend to be in great physical shape (assuming that shape is triangular). Plus, they'll be able to keep up with you on all your outdoor adventures. Just as long as those adventures require minimal amounts of cardio!
#3 Problem-Solving Skills
Navigating whitewater rapids requires quick thinking and the ability to problem-solve on the fly. Boaters have honed these skills and will likely be able to handle any challenges that come your way (including seeing your dirtbag ex at the bar).
#4 Respect for Nature
Boaters have a deep appreciation for the natural world and the power of water. They understand the importance of taking care of the environment and will likely be conscientious stewards of the earth, mostly because they live outside, but hey it still counts.
#5 Effective Communicators
Whether it's figuring out which slot to run or who drank the last PBR, boaters know how to clearly and effectively communicate their thoughts and pertinent information (getting them to STOP talking is usually the problem).
While every Beater will tell you they are the best boater, partner, and lover out there, they are generally known to be great at lying. With that in mind, we figured we would give some reasons to maybe be skeptical of climbing into the back of that beat up Tacoma...
5 Reasons NOT to Date a Boater
#1 Adventure Addicted
Good luck getting a boater to sit still. If you aren't a fan of going outside in inclement weather, don't get involved with a boater. Rain, snow, hot, cold... the only weather condition I have ever seen keep a boater off the river is a wildfire (and even then, they will probably still go).
#2 Risk Taking
Whitewater paddling can be a high-risk activity, and some people may not want to be in a relationship with someone who engages in it. While we recognize dropping waterfalls may not be everyone's idea of a fun time, we respectfully call those people lame.
#3 Limited Availability
Good luck contacting a boater during the summer. Whether they are out of service, or they do not even physically own a phone, making plans with a boater during the months of May through September is going to be virtually impossible unless those plans are river-related.
#4 Expensive Hobby
Paddling equipment can be expensive, and whitewater paddlers will invest a lot of money into gear, training, and travel. This could lead to financial issues for the relationship (spoiler, it WILL cause strain when you find out how much that boat actually costs!).
#5 Comes with Baggage
We all have some baggage from our past, and it's key to accept that in your potential partner. What you don’t have to accept is the four kayaks that “totally work” and the sheer amount of other gear they have accumulated over the years. Do not agree to move in with a boater unless you have a garage or storage building on-site, because if you don’t, your living room will look like REI had a baby with a landfill.